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Wednesday September 04 2013    |     Views: 2849    |     Comments: 0   |     Print    Bookmark and Share

Our problems in dealing with people might just be a little easier if we apply a bit of understanding in knowing that humans are perfectly imperfect

Many things happen every second of every day and it just takes gathering the thoughts and actions and rearranging them into what makes perfect sense. One word: Understanding! Some have the time, others manage with patience but not everyone can fully master the rules guiding Understanding.

For example, tell me how easy is it for someone to say 'I love you' this minute and then go behind to cheat on you and everything the love stands for. Or how is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time? Can you understand that?  With the years I have spent here on earth, I have learnt to put understanding to test, concerning humans, situations, love, and many different things. It’s more than the ordinary dictionary meaning; it takes growing up and making room for others to grow too. With a little understanding, it might make perfect sense to let people make mistakes and help them make amends and live past their mistakes.

I remember dating someone with a really bad temper. He was sweet and charming but his anger issues were just too unbearable. I couldn't have male friends unless they were his friends too. Did I also mention how protective he was? It’s cute sometimes when your boyfriend is all protective and caring but after a while it becomes a living hell. I think I took it in well when I tried to understand that his level of insecurity and his protective claws were his own ways of marking his territory. I'm sure you must have experienced a lot more but have you thought of seeing things from different perspectives?

Different Humans
We might sound alike, eat the same food, drink the same water, attend the same schools, wear the same clothes and even walk the same way, but we are all uniquely different. In our thoughts, our interpretations of things, beliefs, norms and traditions, words and actions, we all think differently. For you to have a successful relationship with anyone at all, you have to first establish and embrace the difference in human traits and personalities.

Perfectly Imperfect
FLAWS! I have them, you have them too. You wouldn't know how lucky you will get living your life with a little room to accept people for who they are with all their irregularities and imperfections. God made us so. He has his reasons.

I only learnt to be more patient last year when I was faced with one of life's most challenging moments. I learnt to be patient, live with ease and expect nothing extraordinary from people because the hurt you will get from their disappointments is not worth the emotional stress at all! Be a little more welcoming to people, give them room to default, politely correct them when they fall short of your expectations and definitely hold no grudge.

Sometimes it’s easiest to be at peace with others and have good understanding of them when you are YOU. Be yourself, open up your heart, put your mind to test and give room for changes in both yourself and the people around you. I always say this: 'anything good that will happen to you, starts with you'. It might not make perfect sense now but yes it works for me to think that way.

Conquer Your Insecurities:
It’s simple logic: you can't build a castle on the air. You have to first identify your flaws and insecurities and start working on them before you can understand why people behave the way they do, or why they act in ways that don't even make sense. When you identify yourself with your insecurities, it opens up a part of you that will become accommodating to others and their own insecurities too. Yes, no one is perfect.

I hope you have learnt one or two from this piece. Before you start living a life you won't be proud of, remember I said “Understanding” not “Stupidity!” It’s something that should be at the foundation of every relationship in life, be it a love life, a friendship or a working relationship. Give room to understand others and be open enough to let them understand you too.

You can always write me on isynwegbu@yahoo.com, like our page on Facebook and follow us on twitter @letswowyou and @wowrelationship. It’s always a happy moment hearing from you guys. Plus, a big shout out to Dewunmi my loyal follower! I promised you a shout out on my next write up; well I keep my promises :*

Much love always,
Isiomah Nwegbu.

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