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In event of heartbreak, keep calm and shop!

Monday May 27 2013    |     Views: 2795    |     Comments: 0   |     Print    Bookmark and Share

You may have to excuse the tone of this article people. As I tend to draw inspiration from my personal life, this is a topic that has been weighing on my mind over the last couple of weeks. Let me first begin by saying that I have recently gone through a break up. It was amiable, it was tough, it’s over. So there I was listening to music while trolling fashion sites and Adele’s Rolling in the Deep comes on. As we all know, this song is a massive f**k you to her ex but it got me thinking, as Adele always does, about break ups and how we deal with them. Now I am not talking about breaking out that tub of ice cream and watching horridly sappy movies or hitting the clubs with your boys. Neither am I talking about writing angry hate texts that we send, followed by love texts we always delete (don’t act like you don’t do it!).

As a fashion enthusiast, naturally I am talking about how we dress post relationship demise. So let me say this loud and clear: it is NOT okay to appear in public looking like a mess because you are heartbroken. It is also NOT okay to crack out your shortest outfits, thinking “I’m going to be sexy so he’ll know what he’s missing”. No ladies. Just no. Yes, your anger maybe justified, and yes you should try to make yourself feel sexy and beautiful, but why some of you translate that into ‘hoochie mama’ mode is beyond me! And guys don’t get me started on your peacocking ways, walking into clubs with your sunglasses and suits acting all kinds of ratchet….just NO!

Sorry I had to get that off my chest, folks. So how should one tackle post break-up fashion choices? As always, with class! If you are ever in doubt about a fashion choice, simply ask yourself if Audrey or Marilyn were ever seen in something similar. If the answer is no, chances are it’s a dodgy outfit. While Adele’s incredible vocals exorcise any left over break up emotions, I thought I would list my top 5 fashion tips for the newly single out there.

1.    Buy a new pair of shoes! Honestly if there is one thing we learnt from Carrie and Sex & the City, it is that shoes can fix everything!

2.    Opt for bold colours! Stay on trend this season with shades of red, orange and yellow. Personally I’m all about the LRD (Little Red Dress); red increases adrenaline production and is the perfect colour to convey your confusing feelings of love, anger, hate, energy and passion.

3.    Go on the hunt for a new pair of jeans! By time you find that perfect pair that makes your derriere look like Queen B’s, you will have shopped your heartbreak away.

4.    DON’T pull out that ‘freakum’ dress for an event you know he will be at. To be honest ladies, it will look like you are trying too hard to show him what he is missing. Go for a more understated sexy look with a midi straight skirt and a chiffon blouse or a tank top worn with statement jewellery. Exude that ‘we broke up and I didn’t even blink/I am indifferent’ confidence. Trust me, nothing burns more than sexy indifference.
5.    Most importantly, buy some new, sexy exercise clothes! It will inspire you to work out. You will look hot even when you are all sweaty and getting fit. It  will also make Tips 1 to 4 that much more powerful! Also, something ridiculous is that 40% of people meet their spouses at the gym and reportedly have a better chance of staying together. Something about common goals. Go figure!

Remember, in the event of heartbreak, keep calm and shop!


By Andrea Obienu

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